Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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