This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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