It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
