he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
