so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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