This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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