so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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