i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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