Banned from zoo.
Again?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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