Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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