Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
