DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
