My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I love you. Go after that dick
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