if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
