there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize