we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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