Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
