it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It's just like the Real World with babies
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
