And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
