i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
