Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
