In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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