so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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