Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
