is your mom at the bar?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
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He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
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Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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