I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
