The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
