In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
that may or may not have been my penis.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
