Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
