Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
