...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
