Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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