Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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