Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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