Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
