One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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