did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
