There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
