From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
