I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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