The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you guys were way drunker than both of me
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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