idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize