Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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