I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
