the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
