dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
it was like eating out sand paper
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
