im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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