How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
