honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
