It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
