Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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