idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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