dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
