So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
