i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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