found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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