my mouth tastes like poor choices
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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