she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
