thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize