I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
