Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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