she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize