i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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