I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
