You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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