Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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