So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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