Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
